Daily Sentence
2008
December
November
October
September
August
7
July
17
June
31
May
64
April
1
March
February
January
Patina
By the time Dr. Theodore Geisel was 80, his glans penis had a shiny patina due to weekly...
May 31st
Patina
“This will be my most magnificent garment yet: 7/8th lengths sleeves, jumper/skort hybrid, iron...
May 31st
Grandee
“Jack Byron still harbored delusions of being a local grandee, attempting to influence...
May 30th
Grandee
Despite his frock coat, bejeweled monocle, and nasal accent Hubert had the countenance not of a...
May 30th
Schadenfreude
She saw the mans wallet fall out of his pocket and made to call out when her schadenfreude took...
May 29th
Schadenfreude
As I watched the poor Albanian suck every last nutrient out of her lemon peel and rice dinner, an...
May 29th
Forgo
This Thanksgiving, in an effort to be more environmentally friendly, we are going to forgo the usual...
May 28th
Forgo
I’ve fallen prey to the Gebbers Family curse (aka The Diabetes), so I have to forgo Smarties,...
May 28th
Ribald
I tend to find that any box social, shindig, or like social gala is much improved with a heavy dose...
May 27th
Ribald
My cousin Franny always fancied herself a ribald old broad, but most of her jokes (example: “A...
May 27th
Vehement
Wilson was a usually healthy eater and reserved dignitary, save for the occasional vehement...
May 26th
Vehement
Yes, you are quite vehement about only using 20-20-20 fertilizer for the petunias, but that’s...
May 26th
Listless
I, feeling incalculably listless, sought fit to end it all and was preparing to step in front of a...
May 25th
Listless
I’m feeling listless ‘cause my newest baby’s got no spinal cord but I can’t...
May 25th
Ruminate
The combination of questionable ingredient origin and a long, choppy road gave me ample opportunity...
May 24th
Ruminate
The Oshkosh Young Men and Boys Choir needs to spend less time ruminating over what their new name...
May 24th
Aright
Ottoman courtesan’s to-do list: make love to Sultan; make love to Sultan’s brother;...
May 23rd
Aright
If the dancers do not perform their routines aright they shall be made to twirl in the basement all...
May 23rd
Cadge
Most nights that last summer were first spent trying to cadge some hooch off my old man and getting...
May 22nd
Cadge
It’s bad enough, Honey, that you require a cooking and cleaning fee, but to tightly wrap...
May 22nd
Boulevardier
It was as grand a gesture the world of Pop Art had ever seen; a veritable fleet of garrulous,...
May 21st
Boulevardier
Oh, Marcus, you oily huckster, you vampire-skinned, thin-dicked genius, you notorious boulevardier,...
May 21st
Potemkin village
Every morning Cybill Shepherd applies her cucumber- and lilac-infused foundation, a Potemkin village...
May 21st
Potemkin Village
I had to rush to hang sarongs, light the incense, and redeploy stuffed animals in an attempt to...
May 20th
Obtrude
Normally I’m a very reserved man, but when I overheard that jackass on the train going on and on...
May 19th
Obtrude
Upon witnessing the foolish baby order Health Bar ice cream I knew I had to obtrude and recommend a...
May 19th
Tirade
Somehow my book report has turned into a Socialist tirade.
May 19th
Tirade
Once Ed’s lecture on how little league coaches often mislead their young players about the...
May 19th
Latitudinarian
Mr. Halpurn, we here at Crockett and Bounty promote an egalitarian and latitudinarian environment...
May 17th
Latitudinarian
Sure, the Jews and Gypsies had it pretty bad, but the worst of the Inquisition’s ...
May 17th
Subfusc
I never really have fun at parties, probably due to the subfusc nature of my eternal soul.
May 16th
Subfusc
As any real metal fan already knows, Motörhead drummer Mikkey Dee chose an offensively subfusc color...
May 16th
Paean
Upon the news that he had not impregnated his girlfriend, Thomas belted out a paean and gave one...
May 15th
Paean
When the Rotterberg Eels finally put away the Yompers Billygoats in the 12th inning, every Eel (and...
May 15th
Fetter
Why fetter your appetite with those chicken meat nugs and egg yolk creamsicles when you can get...
May 14th
Fetter
Don, who was tripping on acid, felt fettered by his many articles of hemp clothing and seashell...
May 14th
Umbrage
You may be a kind, sensitive minister with morals firm enough to match those of Moses but I take...
May 13th
Umbrage
Everything about my stepfather, from his alligator briefcase to his surreptitious late night...
May 13th
Cavil
A little-known tradition: While eating around a dinner table in Tallahassee, Florida, it is...
May 12th
Cavil
I caviled those who cavorted with the cavalcade of cavalry from Calvary.
May 12th
Acumen
Though we mocked him at the time, it turned out that Tim had shown astonishing acumen in his...
May 11th
Acumen
The Emirati concubine had a stout, top-heavy frame, as well as numerous disagreeable features (e.g.,...
May 11th
Parsimonious
I move to absquatulate from the Potentate ‘less he be not parsimonious with his horde of...
May 10th
Parsimonious
When biographers claim that Thomas Edison was an unusually parsimonious man, they tend to cite the...
May 10th
Recycled Word of the Day Alert!
The lazy wordsmiths at Dictionary.com first chose Sentient to be the Word...
May 9th
Sentient
“First he slices me in half, then he carves me up with a spoon? What an asshole,” said...
May 9th
Sentient
Food tastes better sentient.
May 9th
Recycled Word of the Day Alert!
The lazy wordsmiths at Dictionary.com first chose Moiety to be the Word of the Day on October 2,...
May 8th
Moiety
Not until his honeymoon did Norm Yingling realize that he was only in love with a moiety of his...
May 8th
Moiety
All things considered, after the bear attack and subsequent fall from cliff I was lucky to retain...
May 8th
Recycled Word of the Day Alert!
The lazy wordsmiths at Dictionary.com...
May 7th
Contrite
I immediately deduced from my new colleague’s rent clothing, lugubrious countenance, and...
May 7th
Contrite
“So many blackberry dumplings, all wasted,” the contrite bishop said after learning of...
May 7th
Amalgam
Most gentlemen don’t ask about my perfume, but you did, so here goes: it’s not one...
May 6th
Recycled Word of the Day Alert!
The lazy wordsmiths at Dictionary.com chose Amalgam to be the Word of the Day on March 18, 2006....
May 6th
Amalgam
So as not to offend my native host I ate deeply what was served to me (an amalgam of fish, fish...
May 6th
Fustian
Attempts to gussy up my midnight tirades with elegant verbiage have backfired, leaving me isolated...
May 5th
Fustian
By the age of seven Bernard had already begun holding court at his father’s tavern, waiving...
May 5th
Disparate
Although British women and Welsh women share many traits, the tastes of their areolas are disparate...
May 5th
Disparate
Glenn would have been quite the lawmaker if not for the terminally disparate nature of his svelte,...
May 5th
Halcyon
If the milieu is not halcyon, for me, coitus is nay impossible.
May 4th
Sub rosa
The vanilla pudding situation will have to be dealt with sub rosa as to not attract the watchful...
May 3rd
Halcyon
My wife’s beastly snorts and fever dream-induced shivers woke me from my halcyon sleep, which...
May 2nd
Cloy
It’s your turn Ryan, and I hesitate you court you any further lest I cloy your desire for...
May 1st